6 Things to Never Do After Breaking Up with a Narcissist

Ending a relationship is never easy, but breaking up with a narcissist can be particularly challenging. Their manipulative tactics and emotional manipulation may leave you feeling confused and vulnerable. Knowing what not to do after the breakup is just as important as knowing how to heal.

If you're considering cutting ties completely, our guide on How to Go No Contact with a Narcissist provides valuable steps to help you through the process.

In this article, we'll explore six crucial things you should avoid doing after breaking up with a narcissist to protect your wellbeing and move forward confidently.

1. Don't Engage in Arguments or Confrontations

Why It's Important

Narcissists thrive on conflict and will often try to draw you back into arguments to regain control or elicit an emotional response.

What to Avoid

• Answering Provocative Messages: Ignore texts or calls that aim to provoke.
• Seeking Closure Through Confrontation: Confrontations rarely lead to resolution with a narcissist.

What to Do Instead

• Maintain No Contact: Limit or eliminate communication to prevent further manipulation.
• Set Firm Boundaries: If contact is necessary, keep interactions brief and factual.

Example: If they send a message blaming you for the breakup, refrain from responding or simply acknowledge receipt without engaging.

2. Don't Stalk Their Social Media

Why It's Important

Constantly checking their social media can reopen wounds and hinder your healing process. Narcissists may use social platforms to showcase a seemingly perfect life to provoke jealousy or pain.

What to Avoid

• Viewing Their Profiles: Resist the urge to check their updates or posts.
• Engaging with Their Content: Avoid liking, commenting, or sharing their posts.

What to Do Instead

• Unfollow or Block Them: Remove them from your social media feeds.
• Focus on Yourself: Invest time in your own hobbies and interests.

Example: Instead of scrolling through their Instagram, spend time reconnecting with friends or picking up a new hobby.

3. Don't Isolate Yourself

Why It's Important

Isolation can intensify feelings of loneliness and make you more susceptible to ruminating over the past.

What to Avoid

• Cutting Off Support Networks: Don't distance yourself from friends and family.
• Declining Social Invitations: Avoid consistently saying no to social engagements.

What to Do Instead

• Reach Out to Loved Ones: Share your feelings with trusted individuals.
• Join Support Groups: Connect with others who have experienced similar situations.

Example: Attend a meetup or join an online community focused on healing after narcissistic relationships.

4. Don't Idealize the Past

Why It's Important

It's common to romanticize past relationships, but doing so can prevent you from moving forward and recognizing unhealthy patterns.

What to Avoid

• Ignoring Red Flags: Don't overlook the negative aspects of the relationship.
• Dwelling on "What Ifs": Avoid getting stuck in hypothetical scenarios.

What to Do Instead

• Acknowledge the Reality: Remind yourself of the reasons the relationship ended.
• Practice Mindfulness: Stay present and focus on the here and now.

Example: Write down a list of the manipulative behaviors you experienced to reinforce why the breakup was necessary.

5. Don't Seek Revenge

Why It's Important

Acting out of spite can escalate tensions and prolong your emotional turmoil.

What to Avoid

• Spreading Rumors: Refrain from talking negatively about them to others.
• Sabotaging Their Efforts: Avoid interfering with their personal or professional life.

What to Do Instead

• Focus on Healing: Channel your energy into self-improvement.
• Let Go of Grudges: Forgiveness is for your peace, not their benefit.

Example: Instead of plotting revenge, invest time in activities that bring you joy and peace.

6. Don't Rush into a New Relationship

Why It's Important

Jumping into a new relationship too soon can prevent you from fully healing and may lead to repeating unhealthy patterns.

What to Avoid

• Rebounding: Starting a new relationship to fill a void.
• Comparing New Partners: Measuring others against your past relationship.

What to Do Instead

• Take Time for Self-Reflection: Understand your needs and desires.
• Set Personal Goals: Focus on personal growth and fulfillment.

Example: Spend time traveling, pursuing a passion, or engaging in self-care routines before considering dating again.

Additional Resources

Navigating life after a relationship with a narcissist can be challenging, but you're not alone. Here are some resources that might help:

• How to Go No Contact with a Narcissist: Learn effective strategies to cut ties and protect yourself.
• How to Communicate with a Narcissist: Discover techniques for managing interactions if contact is unavoidable.
• Understanding the Female Narcissist: Learn about the traits and behaviors specific to female narcissists.
• Understanding Covert Narcissism: Discover how covert narcissism differs from overt forms.

Conclusion

Breaking up with a narcissist is a significant step toward reclaiming your life and wellbeing. By avoiding these six pitfalls, you can protect yourself from further harm and begin the healing process. Remember to prioritize self-care, seek support, and give yourself the time and space needed to move forward.

You're stronger than you know, and brighter days are ahead.